I'm writing this on behalf of Jenni, for all of...
cancerousandcantankerous: I don’t like being the bearer of bad news, but I knew you would all want to know how Jenni’s doing. On Saturday morning, our darling Jenni passed away peacefully at home. She wasn’t in any pain and it happened very quickly. The night before she had a contented sleep, so she could not have been much happier. -If anyone wants any more details, or information on her...
and again we journey through the night.
Here I am on the eve of surgery again. Surgery I never thought I’d have again. 11 months and 1 day later another laparotomy. A pesky cyst discovered 6 months post chemo. Another 15cm cut through my abdomen. Another stretch of months to recover. Another path to begin striding. Littered with flowers. Littered with leaves. Littered with fallen branches, but always winding onward. I know I had...
Sometimes I wonder what the point of all this is. Then I remember, that’s...– me.
I am human and sometimes I live too much in my head and forget who I am. Thank goodness that our lives need not be dictated by the past. That all that exists is this moment in time and everything else is constructed in our thoughts and the meaning we create. Thank goodness for forgiveness when we have not had integrity, and for the dispelling of fear that constrains. For starting again.
I had a little post chemo holiday to Tasmania. These are the commitments I made whilst I had time to wander, explore and contemplate the next step: To create art from found objects and through gleaning. To be a collector of oddments from op shops etc. for creative uses. To start a vegie garden. To rent an art studio space in Adelaide. To enroll in art school for this semester. To...
“Cancer treatment had insulated me with solid walls of special circumstance. For months, I’d been hiding inside that fortress where caregivers hovered, detractors deferred. Extenuated from all the rules that govern the daily grind, I had my mother to take care of me, and when I didn’t have her, I had the mother of all excuses. But now the drawbridge had dropped, and all my old...
Blood noses have gone for first time in 4 months.
INFJ Number 2 Melancholic That’s me in a nutshell.
Just thought you all should know, I’m feeling much better, much lighter, and much healthier. Life is good.
eat. me. a. rainbow.
I’ve started a health blog here http://eatmearainbow.tumblr.com/. I don’t expect anyone to read it, it is more intended as a record for me and as a form of accountability as I adjust to a new way of living. Now I can’t get away with anything! It is basically about what I eat, sleep, drink and do to make my body as unfriendly to cancer as possible, so that you don’t have to...
I did it. So be it. (Amen).
I actually made it to June 26. The magic day that was always faint in the distance, yet crept up larger and larger and more into focus as the seasons changed, and winter threw her icy cloak over our city. The 18th consecutive Tuesday of treatment. Finished. Four and a half months. There were times when I didn’t want to do it any more. When rolling out of bed at 7am in winter on a...
With faith, courage and devotion she ran Helter-skelter, With the wind, like the wind, Alongside the grapevines of her dreams, Until her feet lifted softly from the sand. Body pitching forward and arms outstretched to the fluffy white, Rising above the pinpricked trees Flying through the circus tent blue stretched forever. Canopied and free. Canopied and free. - Rebecca Secombe 2012
Ah. Transfusion day, then the rain reigning on the roof throughout the night. Proof you understand me.
Today I had my second blood transfusion, this time only 2 bags. Once again, in retrospect I can appreciate why last week was a hard one with nausea, reflux, tachycardia and fatigue. Makes sense really. Sometimes I don’t listen very closely to my body. It totally needs a break. I totally need to give it one. Only two weeks left. Thank you for this experience.
Wherever your life ends, it is all there. The advantage of living is not...– Michel de Montaigne
A conversation with myself part 1.
Rebecca: So what is going on for you right now? - Bec: I don’t Know! I feel disgusting. I feel sick. I’ve had enough. I want out. This isn’t fun. I just had a panic attack and realised I have cancer. Like I never actually comprehended it properly before. I’m confused. I just started crying in a cafe whilst eating lunch by myself and I don’t even know why! - ...